I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
