He is an equal opportunity slut.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
