You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
