did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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