Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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