Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
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