i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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