just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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