so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
