so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize