And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
