You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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