and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You're like the curious george of whores
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
