fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
