I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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