I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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