Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
