You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dick very happy bro
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
