So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
