the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
