Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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