i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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