Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
