Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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