I need help removing her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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