Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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