I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's shark week go big or go home
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
