you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
