The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
