I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
