If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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