high people should be assigned attendants
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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