Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
