just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
