After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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