Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
