Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need to sanitize my soul.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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