I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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