Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
