Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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