And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
