All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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