is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
