Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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