I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
