he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
