i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish i was in the wii world.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
