I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Bring me that man meat
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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