just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
