I heard we made out
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
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Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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