And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
