Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
