therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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