thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
