don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
