is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Oh god it's open bar.
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