I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
