Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
