My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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