I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
