Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?

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  (310): So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops? http://tfl.nu/jkax
  Replies (33) Good night (1045) Bad night (3916)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would

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  (405): i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would http://tfl.nu/ua94
  Replies (7) Good night (3892) Bad night (909)
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  (347): View more from New York

  It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.

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  (347): It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency. http://tfl.nu/gkum
  Replies (8) Good night (2145) Bad night (968)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?

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  (217): If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping? http://tfl.nu/vdup
  Replies (5) Good night (2177) Bad night (690)
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  (+33): View more from France

  I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.

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  (+33): I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again. http://tfl.nu/fepp
  Replies (15) Good night (2184) Bad night (773)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together

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  (231): Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together http://tfl.nu/n1xx
  Replies (2) Good night (1895) Bad night (514)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie

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  (706): I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie http://tfl.nu/t5j0
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (1060)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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  (931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (485)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..

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  (704): All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar.. http://tfl.nu/zfs2
  Replies (5) Good night (883) Bad night (420)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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  (816): It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do. http://tfl.nu/e4al
  Replies (17) Good night (1021) Bad night (493)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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  (306): I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed http://tfl.nu/ufxs
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (337)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?

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  (+44): He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks? http://tfl.nu/sa4o
  Replies (8) Good night (810) Bad night (429)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner

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  (210): As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner http://tfl.nu/bpq7
  Replies (6) Good night (349) Bad night (1166)
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  (925): View more from California

  Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha

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  (925): Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha http://tfl.nu/s6cd
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (243)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions

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  (985): Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions http://tfl.nu/zlhz
  Replies (1) Good night (193) Bad night (308)

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