I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.