Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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