This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
no you cant smoke seaweed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
