Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
