i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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