Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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