I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
