i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
